Halloween. Oh what a day Halloween is. On Friday the kids were crazy. Crazy I tell you. They were so excited for the weekend and trick or treating. And of course we had two birthdays last Friday which meant a “party” at the very end of the day. They inhaled those sugary cupcakes. I looked over and saw one child literally sucking the frosting of his cupcake. Talk about a sugar high.

I went with my friend Amanda to eat Sushi on Friday night. It was delicious. It had been a whole month since I had eaten sushi. Well actually a friend pointed out that I have had sushi on pay day the past 2 times. Weird? Yes but not really – it’s more of a finding the time to get good sushi. We ate at a fun place downtown and then got strawberry mousse from Harris Teeter and watched some TV. It was semi-lame but it was also very relaxing.

On Saturday I went with a group of friends to a Corn Maze. It was really fun. Half of the group went on the scary Haunted Trail. They tried to talk Katie and I into doing it but we are jumpy girls. Meaning that in high school when a basketball hit the wall 5 feet from where I was I would scream and jump. I don’t do well with things jumping out at me. So Katie and I did the Corn Maze and it was a blast. It was over 6 acres big and man did we get lost. We had to find different letters/stations hidden throughout the maze and punch a hole for each. We made it out in 58 minutes. We were sweating so much it was not ladylike. But then Katie and I are not always the most ladylike ladies.

And now Daylight Savings has begun. Or has it ended? I always get the whole system confused. Oh well. I am really liking the light in the mornings and can actually see when I walk out to my car and when I get to school instead of being greeted by pitch black darkness.

But at night I am starting to get tired a lot earlier. It’s pretty funny. Last night I had my light out and was asleep by 9:00. And then I woke up at 5:oo this morning. But thankfully I rolled back over, cuddled up and slept for a bit longer. Mornings have never been my favorite. I do not like getting out of bed. I cannot seem to make myself get up at a reasonable time most days.

I have 3 1/2 weeks till Thanksgiving and my super long and awesome track out. I’m so excited! Though I am dreading having to do report cards soon. Thankfully everyone is really helping me figure things out (did I mention how awesome my coworkers are?!) so I think I’ll make it. Every time I start to get really stressed about it I think about how happy I will be when I am tracked out and sleeping in and traveling and doing crafts and enjoying the holidays.

This afternoon my assistant and I rearranged the room somewhat. There were certain “areas” of the room that were driving me crazy. So we moved some things around and it made me feel better. Now their tables aren’t so close together so hopefully that will cut down on some chatter and crowding.

Oh and let’s see I should end with a quote. There are LOTS of great quotes in 2nd grade.

And of course as soon as I typed that I drew a blank. That’s what happens when your brain has been going all day.

This is where I am pretending to be, relaxing on a tropical beach. bliss

I know. It’s been a while. Sorry. I think of some great things every now and then but I have a hard time following through.

I have now been an official 2nd grade teacher for 25 days. That’s 3 weeks and 4 days in school time. I cannot believe how quickly it has all flown by!

I am really loving my job. Seriously. I could not be in a better place this year. I work at an amazing school with some really supportive and helpful coworkers. They listen to me when I need to whine, answer my endless questions (they really are endless) and take the time to encourage me. It’s such a positive environment and I really am feeling like I fit and belong.

My kids are the best. They are crazy but they’re the best. They would talk all day long if I let them. Sometimes I think I let them talk too much. I’m really too nice. I’ve realized that classroom management is one of those things that you can read all about and talk about how wonderful your classroom is going to be but until you get in there and grab the bull by the horns it’s all just talk. You have to be mean sometimes and it’s not fun. Especially when the kids are cute and you see those little tears begin to well up in their eyes. Oh those little tears. Those tears will be my downfall if I’m not careful.

Even so, I try my best to be kind and show the kids that I’m a normal human being too. I talk about Appalachian all the time and how they should all grow up and go to college there. I’ll make them into Mountaineers if it’s the last thing I do.

I hand out band-aids, give hugs, break up arguments and help repair friendships. I encourage, motivate, and try to give them some hope on the gloomy days. I tell them stories in social studies and once I even fell on the floor to help exaggerate a talk about not asking what to do when you are done. I give funny faces and am working very hard on developing my teacher evil eye. I’ve been told it’s very effective if mastered properly. I laugh at many things, sometimes only in my head in an effort to not embarass and the kids laugh at me often. When the morning announcements are over and they play a song I often sing along at the top of my lungs.

These are the kinds of things you can do as a 2nd grade teacher. You get to be a little crazy. In fact you pretty much have to be crazy or else you wouldn’t make it.

And most days I go home and feel that I have done something positive, that even though I’m sure there were flawed lessons and many mistakes made, that hopefully something good happened.

I constantly remind students that it is not the Miss R game and that they do not get points for saying my name. I say cheesy things like “if I had a dime for every time a student asked me to go to the bathroom I would be a rich person”. I write notes on stickies in the shape of an elephant. I receive hand drawn pictures of elephants and flowers and shark teeth from the playground. I can spot trash and pencils on the floor from across the room and its rumored that I have ears and eyes like an owl.

Today is a good day to write all of this and be reminded of how blessed I am. I took the day off due to an unfortunate double ear infection. This was not planned and I am not happy about it but I’m trying to muster up some positivity. Also I’m very sad because I was supposed to be going up to Boone with a bunch of good friends for a little reunion and for the football game. Oh I was looking forward to it for a long time. I want to see an ASU football game live in the new stadium so badly.

But this infection and fever is gonna keep me here at home. It’s a bummer. I’m thinking I might allow myself a slight amount of retail therapy to make up for the missed fun. And I’m thinking ahead to my track out which is only 5 weeks away and planning some fun trips for then! It should be a blast! That’s all for now.

I got a sweet facebook message today from a girl that I went to India with who is currently living and serving there. She updated us on some of the ministries and people we worked with and it was so encouraging to me. I later was driving and thinking about India and the people and began to tear up.

Tonight I found my old journals from that summer and began to read. This was a period in my life in which I actually a wrote a lot and just poured my heart out on paper. I thought I would share some things that I wrote then that really touched me tonight.

Wednesday June 06, 2007:

“I am realizing that while mountains, oceans, lakes, canyons, and deserts are breathtaking the most important form of beauty is found in the hearts of people. Of people in love with You. Of broken vessels, shattered and torn yet filled with Your presence.”

Tuesday June 11, 2007: My first day at the orphanage

“I have a new friend. His name is Vikas and he clung to me from the beginning and literally wouldn’t let go – my hips were so sore. He is about 5 years old and is super precious. We twirled, sang songs, and he ate a lime. He absolutely loved my sunglasses and wore them the entire time. Pretty soon all of the kids wanted a turn. It was great. Towards the end I put him down when it was time for their baths. He went and said goodbye. Then when were actually leaving all of the kids lined up and said bye. Vikas was at the end and he was literally sobbing. One of the workers asked him why and he said that he was in love and didn’t want us to leave. I stayed with him until everyone else was gone, picked him up, and gave him a big hug and said I would be back. One of the workers told me how to say it in Hindi, but I think I completely botched it. He gave me a kiss and I left. It was so incredibly hard to leave. See, I was in love too.”

Tuesday July 17, 07

“I had a great day of ministry. On the way over I just prayed that God would reveal himself to me and how He would desire to use me. He totally came through. I spent pretty much the whole time with the same group of women and their babies that Carly and I hung out with last time. We just sat there and talked about anything and everything: weather, arranged marriage vs. love marriage, children, school, family, friends, cultural differences. It was so much fun. We laughed over the communication problems and one of the older women gave me a banana. In the middle of our conversation I realized that it didn’t matter that these women live in a leper colony, that they don’t have all that I do or that we live thousands of miles apart. It just mattered that we were a group of women talking together, sharing friendship.”

During debrief

“Today we went swimming, which I have been eagerly looking forward to. Miele, Carly, Jaimee, Jess, and I went to try to get to this waterfall and walked on a bunch of rocks barefooted. Jaimee heard growling from the bushes so we turned around and then let the river’s current take us back downstream. It was painful because my butt kept slamming into random rocks but it was so much fun!”

“I just rode an elephant! It was really neat, except I was riding backwards since there were only 3 of us and I felt like I was sliding the whole time. But it was beautiful riding through the jungle. We saw a ton of deer and a couple monkeys. Haha last night there was a mouse in our room. I actually didn’t scream – I just quickly told Jen. It ran under the door and thankfully didn’t come back.”

“The view in front of me right now is breathtaking – the mountains, the gushing river with rocks. The trees, so diverse and green. The fields with crops being harvested, the sheer jungleness of it all. Funny but my life feels like a jungle right now. Some stuff is so exciting and fascinating, full of adventure and other parts are full of fear. I don’t know where I am going, just constantly stumbling upon new paths and challenges. Some days I feel as if I am a great explorer, tackling the trails with gigantic zeal. Other days I feel like a bad fever has overtaken me, leaving me at the mercy of the strange land I dwell in.”

Oh India. You are still in my heart. Lots of prayers going out tonight for my brothers and sisters in India.

So it’s been a while and I realize that I have not posted my exciting news yet. Here we go:

I got a job. I am now a Second Grade Teacher!!

Isn’t that exciting!!!

I have no way to explain it except to say that GOD IS SO GOOD!! There is no way that I deserve this job. Every day I am completely blown away that I got it. God’s goodness and graciousness are the theme of my life lately.

Oh and my school is literally less than 10 minutes from my house. And everyone has been SO incredibly nice to me. I love it!

So I’m busy getting ready. The nice thing is that it’s a year round school and my kids are currently tracked out (on vacation). So I have two more weeks of preparation before I the kids come back. Thank goodness for time to get ready!!!

Ok, that’s all for now!

I LOVE this song. I’ve had part of it stuck in my head lately, especially as I’ve been falling asleep. But for some reason I couldn’t find it in my i-tunes, but alas after some googling it was found.

It’s called “Anchor” and it’s by Ross King:

It’s bigger than your doctrine

Cause there’s only so much mystery

That doctrine can explain

It’s bigger than tradition

Cause you’ll turn around and see that

All of your traditions have been changed

Hear what I am saying

All these things are fading

It’s bigger than your science

Cause your soul cannot be saved by anything

That scientists can prove

And it’s bigger than compliance

Cause even compliant people

Can be lured away from what is true

Hear what I am saying

Only trust in One Thing

Jesus is my only Anchor

Jesus is the only Way

Very few things last forever

And everything else floats away

It’s bigger than your politic

Cause there is no policy that rescues us out of

the Shadow-lands

It’s bigger than your rhetoric

Cause this is a living Word, you speak it

With your feet and with your hands

Hear what I am saying

All these things are fading

It’s more than just your conscience

Cause your conscience may be clean, that doesn’t mean

That you are innocent

It’s more than circumstances

Cause when your circumstances change,

How will you keep yourself content?

Hear what I am saying

Only trust in One Thing

We want it to be easy

To find the safest version of the truth

But we’ll find out what we really believe

When all we have to hold is You

It’s bigger than the words your preacher preaches

Cause I guarantee sometimes you will forget

what you have heard

It’s bigger than your Bible exegesis

Cause there are bound to be some days when you don’t

Understand a word

Hear what I am saying

Only trust in One Thing

Jesus is my only Anchor

Jesus is the only Way

Very few things last forever

Everything else floats away

Jesus is my only Lifeline

When I’m drifting in the sea

Very few things can be trusted

Only one thing rescues me

One of my favorite poets is Elizabeth Barrett Browning. I read about her in a book in high school and then in 12th grade did a project about her life. I love her poems and the love letters written to her husband Robert.

When I was at the used bookstore a couple months ago I found a copy of “Sonnets from the Portuguese” that I adore. Granted, I already had a copy but this one was used and had a beautiful covered. Used books scream treasured and special to me. I love them.

And so I bought the book. Two copies can’t hurt, right? When I opened it up later I found this inscription written before the first page:

“1957. Dear Jean, May this birthday and all your days be filled with happiness and love, and especially love which I shall let this book represent to remind you. -Deedee”

I was touched. This book has to be at least 52 years old! How neat. And it was given as an act of friendship. It leaves all sorts of questions in my mind. Where did Jean live? How long did she know Deedee? Was Jean married? How old was she? How did her book end up in the used bookstore?

Every book contains a story not just on the inside of the pages but from the people who hold it and treasure it. There’s a couple  of quotes that I think sum it all up nicely:

A writer only begins a book. A reader finishes it. – Samuel Johnson

No man can be called friendless who has God and the companionship of good books. – Elizabeth Barrett Browning herself.

I think that weekends have a great familiar feeling. Like putting on a favorite pari of jeans the weekend is comfortable and relaxing yet gives me the feeling of eagerness and excitement for some adventure. There’s the Friday night feeling where you feel as if the work world is so far away and fun possibilities are just waiting to be discovered. I had that feeling as I was driving yesterday. I subbed at a school yesterday so I had to be up at the crack of dawn and was busy all day long, a feeling that I haven’t had much lately. After rushing home to do a couple of things I was back in the car on my way to church for a meeting. I had changed from a black shirt and skirt (teacher clothes) into my comfiest pair of jeans. I kept the black shirt but decided to that I wanted to spice life up and throw on a scarf. I chose the pink, cream, and teal one from India that is my absolute favorite. When I wear it life immediately seems more simply beautiful.

As I drove the feeling of the comfy jeans and simple scarf made me smile from ear to ear. I knew that the weekend was upon me and I couldn’t wait to see what it had to offer. Now granted I was at the meeting till a ripe hour of 10:15 (yikes!) but it was splendid. I got to talk to a bunch of lovely people that I hadn’t seen all week and also dream some gospel dreams about the girls bible study that I will be tre-leading (that’s my new term for co-leading but with 2 other people so it’s a total of three) with two wonderful girls. I also got to see my new favorite kindergartner and hear all about his fabulous first week. How happy he was and how big the smile on his face as he told me all about his new adventure. I think we should all take a lesson from kindergartners on dealing with new things in life and just smile and enjoy the ride.

Now it’s Saturday morning and I got to sleep in which is a great feeling after getting up early for a couple days this week. Saturday rolls around like a tease. I usually wake up multiple times Saturday morning frantic because I think I am late for something, be it school or work or some other busy time taker. The feeling of realizing that it is indeed Saturday and that I get to roll right back over and sleep is absolutely glorious. It makes waking up when I want to an ever better thing. And it allows me to have that lazy feeling of staying in bed for an hour or so to read, catch up internet stuff or I don’t know blog perhaps?

Well I’m off to enjoy this beautiful although muggy and hot Raleigh Saturday. Plans include some sort of yummy breakfast, exploring my favorite mall (that I have not been to in years) and then coffee with a college friend.

I love hospitality. Ok, unfortunately I have not been the one offering the hospitality so much lately but I have been on the receiving end often and it is so fantastic. The past two Friday nights I spent the night at some dear friends’ house. This family extends to become a dear group of people that is part of my extended family here. We have been spending lots of fun time together this summer as people have been home from college. This is the house where I can just show up randomly and hang out, eat dinner at once a week, and just be myself. I never feel like I have to be someone else there.

We were supposed to go camping this weekend but a weather report for heavy thunderstorms changed our plans. We “camped” indoors instead. We made hobos in the oven, watched a movie  (ok so that’s not a camping activity) and then Sarah and I slept on an air mattress in her room. And us girls had fun last night. We were jumping on air mattresses, laughing, telling crazy stories and basically acting like middle school girls all over again. It was a blast and I loved every single moment of it.

Of course in my quick pack to head over there yesterday I forgot a couple things, namely my toothpaste and toothbrush. Now toothpaste is something that can be easily taken from someone else but a toothbrush is kind of a no sharer. I asked Mama G if they had any extra toothbrushes and she found one for me. Katie told me to just label it with my initials and put it in a drawer in the bathroom after I used it. She said I could just keep it there for whenever I came over. When I opened the drawer I saw that I was not the only one to be in the toothbrush club.

That my friends is true hospitality. Loving and wanting to live life together enough that you give people their own toothbrush at your house. I love it. I felt so welcomed and loved by such a small act. I mean there are many items that I can go without or borrow if I happen to spend the night without prior planning or am there for a long day, but a toothbrush is a special thing. Now I don’t have to worry about that even! Giving me a toothbrush is more than just caring about the smell of my breath. It says “hey you are welcome here whenever. Come and hang out and stay as long as you like”.

I need some practice in being hospitable. I don’t have my own place so it’s kind of tricky but I am trying to work on learning things from my family and others that I can one day hopefully put into practice with my own family. One thing is for sure: there will be a toothbrush drawer!

Today has been a day of pondering and thoughts for me and I have spent the past hour or so just writing out some of those thoughts. Here are some tidbits:

Lately I have decided that the american dream is a bunch of crap. Really it is. Actually, it’s not really a recent discovery it’s just been etched into my mind in more ways since I am unemployed. It seems that all people ask me is if I have a job or any interviews and though I know they mean well I would love if they would ask me something else.

Here’s the thing, even in Christian circles, there is this pattern that a lot of people follow. Go to college. Love Jesus in college, get involved in a church and campus ministry, travel overseas to crazy places during your summers and then graduate and get a nice paying job.

Now don’t get me wrong there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with doing these things. I have plenty of friends that have followed this path and are following the Lord with all of their hearts as they pursue the Gospel. But what if this path wasn’t meant for us all? I think that it’s not about WHAT you do with your life but if you follow where God leads. I feel as if I need to take a pause after saying that because it is SO much easier said than done.

Here’s where my heart is: I would love to get a teaching job this year and delve into the world of classroom life. But I only want to do that if God calls me to it. Some of you know this, but a couple weeks ago I was offered a teaching job. Yeah it sounds crazy to write that. I was truly and really offered a job to teach munchkins all day at a brand new elementary school. But I turned it down. Don’t jump on me yet. See ever since I left that interview I prayed about it and what to do if I was offered a job. I just had this feeling it might happen (by the way feelings usually = God telling me to listen up).

The school was far away and I would have had to move and spend a lot of money to do so. I also would have had to leave behind a great “cloud of witnesses” that surround me where I am. So I prayed and I talked a lot to my parents about it and I never had a peace about it. Never.

I knew that even though it might have been a great opportunity that I had to turn it down. Do you know how many people have given me crazy looks when I told them that? Especially in this economy, people think it’s crazy to turn down a job. But to me life is more than a job. It’s about doing what God says is best for me. It’s about family and love and fellowship and ministry. The world screamed at me to take that job but God softly whispered and told me not to.

I could have had a classroom of my own and used my little flower pot set of pens that say “Ms. R’s Class”. I could have taught in teaching bliss every day with a Smartboard, projector, and document camera all in my own classroom. But I won’t. At least not at that school. But you know what? I still have hope, hope that God will provide in some way, even if it’s something I am not expecting.

One thing I know to be true: I desire to seek after the Gospel in this time of waiting and hope, not the american dream. The american dream will only leave me hopeless and empty. The Gospel, the great Gospel that I have been called to, will never disappoint.

Confession: I am an emotional girl.

Today at my friends Sarah and Katie’s house we were watching videos of soldiers homecomings on youtube. Sweetest things ever. We were all crying. (Katie more so that the rest because she is dating a fine man who is currently serving in Iraq.)

Then tonight I babysat for a fun 9 year old boy. We watched the movie “Eight Below“. It’s about a guy and his team of sled dogs that he works with in Antartica. Long story short they have to emergency evacuate because of a bad storm and injuries from a trek and they don’t have time to get the dogs. Someone was supposed to come right back and get the dogs but they didn’t allow anyone to fly because of the storm. The dogs were stuck there on their own, on a chain. Needless to say the main character Jerry wanted to get back and help his dogs as soon as possible but no one would help him. I won’t spill the ending but let’s just say that I cried MULTIPLE times during this movie. I am a sucker for animals. Dogs especially. Dogs that are hurt or in need make me bawl. I lost it about 5 times tonight.

The 9 year old thought it was hilarious. He picked on me the whole night. And he laughed really hard when I screamed out loud/shrieked when something suddenly jumped out in a scene.

This same 9 year old hid his face behind a pillow during the kiss at the end of the movie. I hit him with a pillow. Hahaha.

I am an emotional girl. I’m not ashamed of it.

Now let’s not even talk about that movie Marley and Me……