I think Sunday night is one of my least favorite times of the week. Which is weird because Sundays are my favorite day. I love going to church, spending time with friends and then enjoying some rest in the afternoon.
But then comes the realization that the weekend is quickly slipping away and that the work week is about to begin. Don’t get me wrong, I love student teaching. I love my students and my teacher and am learning a ton. But I’m still exhausted. And sometimes I just don’t know how I am going to get all of the work done and still go to sleep at a decent hour every night.
Today I was even more unhappy about the weekend ending because I really did not get a lot of “down time” until this afternoon. I worked all day yesterday and then babysat at church for a Valentines Banquet. I got a bad headache yesterday that lingered into today turning my attitude quite sour. Thankfully I got my medicine refilled today and will hopefully be feeling much better soon.
And so this afternoon I was grouchy. I had a bad case of the blahs. I was not ready for the week to come and I was angry that I didn’t get a fun and relaxing weekend. Before I knew it I was in the middle of my own self appointed pity party complete with laziness and a main course of whining.
What a nasty habit selfishness is. The Lord really called me out this afternoon as I realized that the source of my anxiety about the week beginning was an unhealthy two-fold:
1) I was not adequately prepared and ready for the week to begin, partially because there were a couple of things I should have finished last week. The laziness factor also did nothing to help this.
2) My anxieties and blahs were really an indicator of my selfishness. Somewhere along the line I had to determine in my mind that I have a right to a relaxing weekend, a right to lots of sleep, a right to be happy all of the time, and a right to not have a headache. Really and truly I do not have a right to any of these things. My feelings also revealed that my trust in the Lord is not great enough. If He really is Lord, if He really is my Saviour then my hope and heart would be set upon Him and His Kingdom, not how I am going to make it or not make it through the week.
All this to say that the Sunday Grouchiness Syndrome is no syndrome at all but really a big fat sin wrapped up in silvery, shiny paper. I have no right to it and really should avoid it at all costs. Sure, I may be stressed. Sure, the week ahead may be full and packed tight. But the God of all of the universe is in control and has a plan. He doesn’t need me worrying about it at all. 🙂