Today has been a day of pondering and thoughts for me and I have spent the past hour or so just writing out some of those thoughts. Here are some tidbits:
Lately I have decided that the american dream is a bunch of crap. Really it is. Actually, it’s not really a recent discovery it’s just been etched into my mind in more ways since I am unemployed. It seems that all people ask me is if I have a job or any interviews and though I know they mean well I would love if they would ask me something else.
Here’s the thing, even in Christian circles, there is this pattern that a lot of people follow. Go to college. Love Jesus in college, get involved in a church and campus ministry, travel overseas to crazy places during your summers and then graduate and get a nice paying job.
Now don’t get me wrong there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with doing these things. I have plenty of friends that have followed this path and are following the Lord with all of their hearts as they pursue the Gospel. But what if this path wasn’t meant for us all? I think that it’s not about WHAT you do with your life but if you follow where God leads. I feel as if I need to take a pause after saying that because it is SO much easier said than done.
Here’s where my heart is: I would love to get a teaching job this year and delve into the world of classroom life. But I only want to do that if God calls me to it. Some of you know this, but a couple weeks ago I was offered a teaching job. Yeah it sounds crazy to write that. I was truly and really offered a job to teach munchkins all day at a brand new elementary school. But I turned it down. Don’t jump on me yet. See ever since I left that interview I prayed about it and what to do if I was offered a job. I just had this feeling it might happen (by the way feelings usually = God telling me to listen up).
The school was far away and I would have had to move and spend a lot of money to do so. I also would have had to leave behind a great “cloud of witnesses” that surround me where I am. So I prayed and I talked a lot to my parents about it and I never had a peace about it. Never.
I knew that even though it might have been a great opportunity that I had to turn it down. Do you know how many people have given me crazy looks when I told them that? Especially in this economy, people think it’s crazy to turn down a job. But to me life is more than a job. It’s about doing what God says is best for me. It’s about family and love and fellowship and ministry. The world screamed at me to take that job but God softly whispered and told me not to.
I could have had a classroom of my own and used my little flower pot set of pens that say “Ms. R’s Class”. I could have taught in teaching bliss every day with a Smartboard, projector, and document camera all in my own classroom. But I won’t. At least not at that school. But you know what? I still have hope, hope that God will provide in some way, even if it’s something I am not expecting.
One thing I know to be true: I desire to seek after the Gospel in this time of waiting and hope, not the american dream. The american dream will only leave me hopeless and empty. The Gospel, the great Gospel that I have been called to, will never disappoint.